Note from Julian regarding the last CC: One of my cadre, a medical professional, pointed out that loss of sex drive is frequently due to medical reasons. Everything from chemical and/or hormone imbalances to a variety of other issues can cause this. If this happens to you or your partner, please check with your doctor!

Dear Julian,

I’m bisexual—is Pridefest for me?

Not Bi-Curious, just Bi

Dear Bi,

Absolutely! Albuquerque Pride Inc. is a non-profit whose main goal is presenting a positive image for the GLBT (that’s Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender) community. That absolutely includes you! Pridefest, the Pride Parade and all the other events (starting in Morningside Park at 6 p.m. Thursday night) are not even strictly for us queers. Heterosexual advocates, family, friends, lovers, your lover’s lovers, your pets (Friday night features a pet parade), exes and future honeys are all welcome. I worked with Pride for several years as a volunteer and also served as Ms. NM Pride 2006-2007. In fact, I was the first female titleholder who was not lesbian-identified. I identify as pan-sexual (it’s a similar to but more inclusive concept than bi) and that fact was not a detriment in any way to me running for and winning the title. I’ll likely have my official crown on during the parade. Look for me on the Alibi’s Space Glam float!

It’s a delightful festival that is truly fun for the whole family. If you’re into art and/or music, it’s especially delightful. The art show is incredible, and I have a particular affinity for the honored dignitaries this year. The Art Dignitary is none other than Ruben Gallegos, with whom I have done extensive community work. His artwork is based in tradition (here’s his website) and has a definite spirit. The Political Dignitary is Alexis Blizman who fought hard for equal rights for everyone here in New Mexico, and I am honored to say that I was part of the team for some of that fight. I’m excited to have her back from Chicago for the weekend. The Emerging Leader (Adan Branchal) not only does my hair but we also shared our Pride Titleholder year, and we had a fantastic time. The Rainbow Roadrunners Car Club drove Ruben and me in a convertible as the first Mr. and Ms. Rio Grande Leather back in 2005 and the members of the Nob Hill Merchants Association help keep some of the best shops in town alive and buzzing.

I could go on, but the point here is that yes, Pridefest is for you, it is for your friends. It isn’t just for people who identify as GLBT, and I hope that you can come to the party. If you see me on the
Expo New Mexico grounds (I’m likely to be over by the New Mexico Leather League booth for at least part of the afternoon), stop and say hi.

Don’t forget the Alibi’s Space Glam party Wednesday night at Imbibe (starts at 8 p.m., 21+) or to bring sunscreen on Saturday to Expo New Mexico.

Come on out and enjoy yourself,

Julian

Why do men send women pictures of their penises? Is this supposed to make us fall at their feet and beg for it?

Much Love,
Missa

Dear Missa,

That is one of the great mysteries of the Internet as far as I can tell. Somewhere someone must have actually responded positively to being barraged by penis pics, and that guy must of have spread the word. It’s a similar thing to the “These are my boobs!” shots that some women put up, and yes, I think it is intended to stimulate our visual cortex and therefore cause a deep desire to, well, you know. Although that’s usually not how it works—outside of Manhunt.net, anyway. Having a picture of the junk can work on some dating profiles, but I do not recommend it as the main picture. Unless, of course, you are only looking for an exclusively sexual connection. If that is the case, men, please send words first and offer penis pics second (or third). Because really, nine times out of ten, sending unsolicited dick just makes you look like … well, you get the picture.

So, Missa, yes, I think that’s what the senders are expecting, but it so rarely works in heterosexual scenarios that it’s mind boggling. Here’s to having a penis-free inbox!

Enjoy yourself,
Julian