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I’m not part of the kink community; in fact ,I’m a bit hesitant to partake in my kinks at all.  Even if I’m with someone who is into S&M, a sub/masochist or whatever, I can’t help but feel guilty that I prefer to be the dominant role.  I never even bring up any of my sadist fantasies to a girl unless I know she’s into it and a bottom because I’m too ashamed otherwise of what people might think. (more…)

Have you ever used an E-stim device? What did you think of it? I’ve heard the E-stim (electro-stimulation) can be dangerous if the device is near the heart or raised above the heart.

Electro-stimulation comes in many forms—it can be as simple as a TENS unit, one of those shocking flyswatters, or as complicated as turn-of-the-century quack medical devices and modern violet wands. I even have an engineer friend that has created shocking machines out of hot glue gun parts. I have seen people use electrical play across the body, I have been kissed by someone who had an electric current running though their body, and have had an electrified Wartenberg wheel dance across my skull, with no problems. I’ve enjoyed shocking people myself! (more…)

Julian,

Anal sex always hurts, right?

Thanks,
S

Dear S,

Wrong.

Enjoy yourself,
Julian

P.S. Just in case you wanted more information, anal sex can be a very enjoyable experience for all involved, regardless of your gender or sexual identity. As with anything in life, if you do it wrong, you have the chance of hurting yourself. If you do it right, it is incredibly pleasurable. Males have this lovely thing called the prostate which earned itself the title “Male G-Spot” and the female G-Spot can be stimulated through anal sex as well. Additionally, the area has a plethora of nerve endings just waiting to be stimulated. (more…)

Dear Julian,

This may seem awfully tame compared to some of your other mail, but maybe I’m not the only one in this situation.

I’m a gal of what used to be called “a certain age,” even though I feel and apparently look and act younger. I’ve realized that I seem to have a lot of really nice (attractive and, well, sexy) male friends who are in their 20s. The scary part is that I am old enough to be their mom, if I’d ever been able or inclined to have kids. I’m not exclusively attracted to younger guys, and to be honest, the guys I’d really like to be with are both about my age. (They’re another letter for another time …)

Should I be worried that I find myself attracted to my friends? They’re all over 21, so no legal issues, but I don’t want to end up being one of those sad cougars who’s the laughingstock of the club. So far, I haven’t pursued any of the guys, and probably won’t due to other considerations, but is it okay to let them wander through my thoughts, or should I head for the cold showers?

Signed,
Frustrated Feline

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Hey Julian,

So what’s up with David Carradine anyway?

—Dee

Hey Dee,

OK, time to address this one. First of all, I am not a forensic pathologist, a detective, a personal friend of the Carradines or a doctor, nor was I in the hotel in Thailand when this very unfortunate incident occurred. According to reports on the Internet, homicide has not been ruled out, but suicide has. If Mr. Carradine’s untimely death was not a homicide, then the most likely cause was autoerotic asphyxiation. Michael Hutchence of INXS probably died the same way back in the ’90s, as have a far-too-large number of other people, Frequently, it results in false allegations of murder (when partners are in the home) or suicide. (more…)