A couple years ago, I was walking (OK, stumbling) down Freemont Street in Las Vegas, Nev., sucking on a yard-long daiquiri I’d been handed at a bayou-themed slots casino when I spotted one of those half-price ticket booths that dot the city. Goggling posters and brochures for the usual magic-, ventriloquism- and topless-dancer-based reviews, my eyes floated boozily over a stage show called Fashionistas. “Funny,” I thought, “that’s the name of a porn film.” Closer inspection led me to the name of the show’s writer/director/producer: John Stagliano. Yup, the infamous porn magnate better known as “The Buttman.” Turns out the music-loving pornographer always dreamed of creating an elaborate stage musical—and what better source material than his hardcore 2003 fetish epic The Fashionistas? The show shut down in 2008 after several successful years just off the Strip. It was handsomely mounted, quite sexy (no actual nudity, though) and deeply weird. (Watching a clutch of Japanese tourists nod off to a chorus of dancers in assless rubber chaps shaking it to a Lords of Acid tune will surely stimulate a smile of sentimental reflection on my deathbed.)

Stagliano’s film has inspired two sequels, but the original remains a hallmark in adult/fetish/fuck film history. For starters, it’s shot in 35mm and boasts a very large budget. Also, it’s four and a half hours long! Although it’s nearly impossible to digest all in one sitting, it manages to hold interest—even through the many non-sexual scenes. Italian stallion Rocco Siffredi stars as Antonio, a fashion designer looking for a new “twist” to shake up his latest collection. He finds it in the rubber-encrusted bondage wear of small-time rival designer Helena (real-life dom Taylor St. Claire). This leads our overly-endowed hero on a quest to understand the underground S&M scene and—by extension—to bone the living shit out of Helena’s shy assistant Jesse (Belladonna in her breakout debut). The sex here is very raw. There are several full-on S&M scenes—which may not be much for hardcore kinksters, but they’ll provide a serious jolt to your casual dirty movie viewer. Asses are stripped of their vinyl casings and spanked to a fine pink hue before being repeatedly violated by Rocco’s gargantuan Italian sausage. Slapping, spitting and choking are par for the course here. Raunch superstar Belladonna (incongruously playing a bit of an innocent) does some things that are flat-out impressive on a purely biomechanical level.

Stagliano is famous for pioneering the “gonzo” genre of pornography. Though that’s come to mean “any amateur with a shaky, hand-held video camera,” you really get a feel for what Stagliano was aiming at with this film. The sex scenes are quite long—some up to 30 minutes in length—and have a hyperactive, no-holds-barred quality that really tests the audience’s bounds. This is Olympic-level sex, people. Do not attempt this at home. Sure, spend a few minutes surfing around the web and you can find some way sicker shit, but this is about as far as you can take so-called “mainstream” pornography. Its mix of rich style, rough sex and pretentious atmosphere probably isn’t for everybody’s taste. But the sumptuous sets, fetishistic clothes and boundary-pushing sexual gymnastics may inspire a few new sexual directions for open-minded lust birds.

Via.

Dark Garden

Michael Ninn makes art. Michael Ninn makes porn. For certain close-minded conservatives, that’s one dichotomy too far. And for select free-thinking libertines, watching a Michael Ninn film is like trying to jerk off to the Mona Lisa. But strike the right balance and you’re apt to find Ninn’s “porno chic” work beautiful, thoughtful, psychologically charged and deeply erotic.

Like his contemporaries Andrew Blake and Marc Dorcel, Ninn’s high-tone, heavily art-directed films tend toward plotless, music video-style abstraction. His many series (Diva, Soloerotica, Fem, Exposed, Pop and Neo Pornographia) interweave random, well-dressed, highly staged set-pieces of Sapphic, soft-focus body worship and exotic, chill-out techno music. It’s an acquired taste. But it’s not to say that Ninn can’t get down and dirty.

Though few and far-between, Ninn’s “plot-oriented” films are something quite special. Take, for example, 1999’s Dark Garden. This double AVN Award-winner is a smutty, ball-draining epic candy-coated in an ambitious sci-fi setting. It’s quite a shock for people used to the stained sheets and shaky video cameras that dominate much of the adult film industry. This is—no argument about it—an honest-to-goodness film.

Combining high-tech speculation with film noir sensibilities, Dark Garden takes place in an alternate, retro-style future that’s part Blade Runner, part Maltese Falcon. A pair of co-ed detectives (Juli Ashton and Julian) are assigned to investigate the mysterious death of the mayor’s son. Seems he burned out his brainpan sampling some illicit virtual reality sex gadget. The sex gadget comes courtesy of porn industry Golden Age icon Jamie Gillis (in a rare non-sexual role). Gillis plays a pair of twin brothers—one gifted with tech skills, one with financial wizardry—who are trying to stoke society’s naughty side with their pornographic implants. Sure, there are a few side effects (addiction and death being the two most troublesome), but when has that ever put a stop to some evil corporate types?

Gillis is amazingly convincing in his dual role, delivering twice the villainy at half the price. The creepy-yet-commanding elder statesman of sex has long been known for his taste in aggressive and verbally abusive BDSM, so the role of sadistic villain suits him well. (Seriously, the guy should get more mainstream roles.) Longtimer Julie Ashton (co-host of Playboy TV’s “Night Calls”) cuts a fine figure as the female half of our cop duo. Julian is ultimately a better woodsman than an actor, but does well enough as the troubled detective with a secret agenda. Among the other welcome faces (and talented genitalia) are Nikita as the film’s object of digital desire and Mia Smiles as an exotic office gal.

The sex is hot, hard and looks like a million bucks (or more). Slow-motion imagery, a sepia-toned color scheme and some old-school 16mm projection combine to give Dark Garden a near-hypnotic visual flavor. An early flesh-press between our police partners is a showcase of elaborate set design and camera manipulation. (Not to mention Ashton’s deep-throat abilities.) The scene in which Lea Martini gets worked over in a jail cell while Julian looks on between the bars is apt to move hands from DVD controls to crotches as well. And just about everything Nikita does in this film brings a new meaning to the term femme fatale.

The most interesting (and ultimately most daring) thing about Dark Garden, though, is its philosophical bent. Other than Rinse Dream’s incredible Café Flesh, I know of no other adult film that dares to be outwardly critical of pornography. I mean, Dark Gardens is a dirty, dirty film, filled with voyeurism, double penetration, cigar-smoking lesbian sex and other fine forms of groinal excitement. But when you break it down, it’s a movie about the deadly effects of pornographic addiction. “Meta” isn’t a word that you can apply to many works in the adult film industry, but Ninn clearly isn’t afraid of some self-referential soul-searching—or artistically lit, black-and-white filtered, slo-mo cum shots, for that matter.

By 1990, adult films didn’t have the corny sense of humor they frequently displayed in the ’70s and early ’80s, but they weren’t afraid to look ridiculous on occasion. Take, for example, The New Barbarians, a late-in-the-game Conan/Ator/Deathstalker-esque porn fantasy that I still love for reasons I can barely enunciate. Not to be confused with the 1982 post-apocalyptic action film of the same name starring Fred Williamson (which has its own cheesy appeal), this film features swinging swords, galloping horses, people dressed up in fur bikinis and a plot about a magic, time-traveling crystal powered by erotic energy. In short: It’s pure porn silliness. But it’s one of the more entertaining, bring-your-friends-over-and-get-drunk sex flicks I know.

Pouffy-haired Victoria Paris stars as Talia, an Amazonian warrior chick in an ill-defined fantasy world that looks a lot like the valley behind some dude’s house in Los Angeles County. To be fair, the film’s got better production values than most adult films, which tend to dispense with costumes, props and sets after the first sex scene. New Barbarians not only keeps it up but does it with a relatively straight face. Paris battles it out with several lunkheaded barbarians (Randy Spears, Jon Dough) and some psychotic, sex-crazed harpies called “Drainer Bitches” (Tianna, Sharon Kane) before being sucked into the more economically feasible “modern” world (basically, that dude’s house at the top of the valley). There, she meets a nice couple (Joey Silvera and always welcome industry legend Nina Hartley) who agree to help her recover that magical, time-traveling rock. Since it’s powered by sexual energy, the climax of the film involves a three-way group grope between Paris, Silvera and Hartley aimed at fucking Ms. Paris back to her proper timeframe. Awesome.

A couple of grunting, groaning Drainer Bitches in a cage provide an early, energetic sex scene, but the capper is that three-way. Paris and Hartley are extremely enthusiastic, there’s lots of nice pillow talk and everybody looks like they’re having a good fucking time (or is that good time fucking?). Director Henri Pachard, who made about 300 dirty movies starting way back in 1967, adds a level of old-school professionalism to the proceedings. The thin but discernible script is co-written by longtime porn star Erica Boyer—who’s famous for getting a shout-out in “Shamrocks and Shenanigans” by Celtic-rap hooligans House of Pain. (“Are you a whore or are you a lady?/Is it Erica Boyer or Marcia Brady?”). I can’t be sure it was Boyer who penned Talia’s immortal line, “Fucking is good, but not with Drainer Bitches.” But I’d like to thank her anyway. I’ve always wanted a T-shirt with that slogan. The line is especially funny because Talia directs it at the modern-day couple—who presumably have no idea what the fuck she’s talking about. Still, you can’t argue with the pure, simple logic of it. One of the top ten porn movie quotes of all time, IMHO.

Coming as it does at the crest of the late-’80s video boom, it’s not too surprising to find The New Barbarians staffed that most ’80s of sex icons, the blonde with huge hair and lots of makeup. Personally, I have a great deal of fondness for the species. All the performers here look vaguely like the cheerleaders in my senior year of high school—which, in the right frame of mind, is a good thing. There’s nothing remotely groundbreaking in The New Barbarians—just a bunch of porn biz vets playing dress-up and happily humping one another to a repetitive Casio soundtrack. (It even spawned a sequel, The New Barbarians 2.) At the end of the day, what more could you demand of your porn?